How Accepting My Place as a Submissive Beta Made Me More Fulfilled

Guest Post Introduction by Queen Adreena

When I asked one of my favourite submissives to write something about his journey for the blog, I expected honesty—but what he gave me was more than that. It’s raw, reflective, a little bit cheeky, and packed with insights that I know will resonate with so many of you. I’ve tidied it up just enough to keep it flowing smoothly, but what you’re about to read is very much in his own words.

Accepting myself as a submissive beta was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’m happier, more confident, and finally feel like I’m living life as me—not some version of myself I thought I was supposed to be.

My kink journey started like many others: watching porn as a teenager, mostly submissive women on Kink.com. But it didn’t take long for me to think, “Hang on… this would be way more fun if the guy was the one getting tied up and used.” That’s when things started to click.

My first real acts of submission came through anal play—starting with fingers, then experimenting with small objects I found around the house. (Side note: I don’t recommend the latter. Seriously. Just… don’t.)

From early on, I had a clear type. Not a look, but a vibe—strong, powerful women with confidence and that unmistakable “Domme energy.” Combine that with my kinky interests, and it was a no-brainer that I’d gravitate toward dominant women.

But it took years to truly accept my identity beyond the bedroom. As a theatre kid, I didn’t fit the “lad” mould. I wasn’t bullied, but I was definitely the flamboyant one, often ridiculed by other boys for not being “masculine” enough. That stuck with me, and even into my twenties, I was trying to chase a so-called “normal” life.

Coming to terms with my identity—both in terms of kink and gender expression—helped everything fall into place. People still misread me, often assuming I’m gay, when the truth is much more nuanced. But now, instead of shrinking myself to avoid judgment, I embrace it. I know who I am, and I’ve never felt more confident.

At first, my exploration of submission was focused on kinks—professional Dommes, sexting online, fantasy roleplay. But over time, I realised real fulfilment came from service itself. Being a submissive isn’t just about getting spanked or degraded (though I still love that too). It’s about what I can offer her. That shift—from “what can I get?” to “how can I serve?”—was huge.

Kink becoming more mainstream has definitely helped. Social platforms like TikTok and the rise of OnlyFans have made it easier for people to explore these dynamics openly. At Pedestal, a femdom event in London, I chatted to a long-time regular who said male submission has exploded in popularity. And it’s true—there’s never been a better time to explore who you really are.

On a more personal note, I used to be incredibly insecure about my penis size. I’m not just “not big”—I’m tiny. And for years, that ate away at me. But here’s the thing: as a submissive man, a big cock would be wasted on me anyway. Now, I take pride in my size. It’s part of who I am. I feel sexier and more confident than I ever did when I was trying to pretend otherwise.

Since being under the guidance of Dommes like Queen Adreena, I’ve also found real friendships. I now have a circle of kinky friends—subs, dommes, creators—who love me for who I am. If you’re reading this and haven’t been to an event or a munch, go. Seriously. It changed everything for me. I finally feel seen.

Sexually, I’m more fulfilled than ever—even though I’m locked in chastity and rarely unlocked. The difference? I’m not jerking off every night pretending to be something I’m not. I’m actively serving, playing, connecting. I’m living it.

And maybe the wildest part? I’m going on a date. With a Domme I met at a kink event. I asked her out and she said yes. A few years ago, I wouldn’t have had the confidence—but being secure in who I am clearly shows. Owning your submission isn’t just hot—it’s magnetic.

People often ask why being a beta feels right. The truth? It just does. Serving someone, prioritising their needs above mine—it feels normal to me. Trying to exist in a totally “equal” relationship would feel off. I’m not wired that way, and that’s okay. We all have our paths. This is mine.

Final Thoughts from Queen Adreena

There’s something truly beautiful about a man who not only accepts his place but thrives in it. My little beta has shown how submission can be both freeing and empowering when embraced fully. If his story speaks to you—whether you’re a fellow sub or a Domme looking to understand your submissive better—I hope it encourages you to dig deeper, be honest, and lean into who you really are.

– Queen Adreena