Alpha/Beta Is Bullshit” — Or Is It?
58Every so often, someone pops up to confidently announce that alpha/beta dynamics are “bullshit.”
Usually in a comment section.
Usually without much explanation.
And usually with the quiet implication that anyone who talks about hierarchy, dominance, or submission has been duped by internet nonsense.
I understand where that reaction comes from. I also understand why it’s wrong.
So let’s actually look at where the idea that alpha/beta dynamics “don’t exist” comes from — and why the dismissal says more about the speaker than the concept itself.
Where the “debunked” idea came from
The rejection of alpha/beta dynamics is often traced back to wolf studies from the mid-20th century.
Early research observed captive wolf packs and noted clear hierarchies: dominant males and females led, controlled resources, and had priority access to mating. These individuals were labelled “alphas.”
Later, further research showed that wild wolf packs tend to be family units. Parents lead because they’re parents, not because they constantly fight for dominance. One of the original researchers publicly clarified that the term “alpha” had been over-simplified and misused in the context of wolves.
That clarification was important.
But somewhere along the way, it became warped into this idea:
“Alpha/beta dynamics were debunked, therefore hierarchy doesn’t exist.”
That leap is where the logic breaks.
Correcting a flawed label in animal research is not the same as erasing hierarchy, dominance, or status from nature — or from humans.
Humans are not wolves
Here’s the part that often gets lost:
Humans don’t organise themselves like captive animals or like nuclear wolf families.
We organise ourselves socially.
Hierarchy in humans shows up everywhere:
- in workplaces
- in friendships
- in leadership
- in attraction
- in sexual dynamics
Often it’s subtle. Who speaks, who follows, who adapts, who desires, who is chosen.
Hierarchy doesn’t mean “better human being.”
It means different roles, different energies, different relational positions.
Pretending that all dynamics are flat doesn’t make them flat. It just makes them harder to talk about honestly.
Why people want it not to be real
The pushback against alpha/beta language usually isn’t scientific. It’s emotional.
For some, the terminology has been poisoned by loud, insecure men shouting about dominance online. Fair enough — that content can be pretty cringy. But bad messengers don’t invalidate real patterns.
For others, hierarchy feels uncomfortable because it implies comparison, and comparison asks questions people don’t always want to answer:
- What do I desire?
- Where do I naturally lead or yield?
- Why am I drawn to certain dynamics?
Saying “it’s all fake” is often easier than sitting with those questions.
There’s also a confusion between describing dynamics and prescribing worth.
Acknowledging hierarchy doesn’t mean endorsing cruelty or ranking human value. It means acknowledging difference.
The mistake people make about alpha and beta
Alpha and beta are not fixed identities.
They are relational roles.
Someone can be dominant at work and submissive in bed.
Someone can lead socially and surrender sexually.
Someone can desire submission not because they are weak, but because it fulfils them.
That flexibility doesn’t disprove hierarchy. It proves that hierarchy is contextual.
The cartoon version — the chest-thumping alpha and the useless beta — is nonsense.
But throwing out the entire concept because you dislike the caricature is intellectually lazy.
Cuckolding doesn’t invent hierarchy — it reveals it
This is where my work lives, and where these arguments fall apart very quickly.
Cuckolding only functions because hierarchy exists.
The submissive partner eroticises surrender, comparison, and displacement.
The dominant partner exercises choice, agency, and sexual authority.
The lover embodies difference and polarity.
None of this works in a flat, egalitarian fantasy where everyone is interchangeable.
Cuckolding doesn’t create dominance and submission — it exposes what was already there and makes it conscious.
So is alpha/beta “real”?
If by alpha/beta you mean rigid, permanent labels that define someone’s entire worth — no. That’s nonsense.
If by alpha/beta you mean observable patterns of leadership, desire, dominance, submission, and relational roles — absolutely.
Hierarchy isn’t an insult.
It’s a map.
Some people simply don’t like where they think it places them, so they’d rather insist the map doesn’t exist.
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